If you don’t work hard you will end up like so and so…. If you continue like this then I will be forced to cut on your allowance…. If you don’t improve next term, I’ll have to transfer you to another school… More IF’S and more emotional blackmail yeah that’s emotional blackmail. How many times have you threatened your child based on their performance at school? How many times have you compared them with others? The worst kind.
Too much pressure;so little of encouragement leaves your child not only emotionally drained but also stripes them naked of their confidence. They are left feeling second best and even humiliated. More so if you tell them off infront of others. A situation that could lead to depression and at worst, self harm. God have mercy.
I am not encouraging lazy bums ..No way. I am not saying pushing your child into improving themselves is bad. What I am saying is that there are waaay better ways to go about it…to expressing rightfully.To knowing your limits as a parent. Though for some children, they have to learn the hard way.
What exactly is the problem?
First get to know where the problem really lies.Is it the school they do not like?, is it the teacher they have an issue with or is it simply laziness? Be objective in your judgment.Trust me, no none knows your child better than you. You know when they are lying through their tears and when they are covering up through their smiles. You raised then and you will definitely know. Make use of your instincts.
Don’t expect too much
More than anyone else, you know your child’s standard. You know what they can achieve when they try their best.If your child has always been a grade C student, don’t expect them to move to grade A in a span on four months just because you hired them a tutor. A slight improvement should be good enough. If they manage to score a B, throw a party! They have excelled within their cycle. Don’t beat yourself up if your niece with whom they attended the same class scored an A.It’s not a competition on who is smarter than who.
Help them discover their talents
Everyone is unique in their own way. Help your child discover their uniqueness and come up with a balancing sheet of their activities. Get them professional help and let them exploit their capabilities. There are so many graduates in the world earning from their talents. Don’t close that option for them. You never know where that door could lead to.
As we approach National Examinations and end term,let’s encourage our children to bring out the best in them. We should never let them be subject to ridicule.Do not compare them. I wouldn’t like it if my child compared my way of parenting to anyone else’s myself.
Your child’s success in life doesn’t ENTIRELY depend on grades!!!