The fuss about grades.  

If you don’t  work hard you will end up like so and so…. If you continue like this then I will be forced  to cut on your allowance….  If you  don’t improve   next term, I’ll  have to transfer  you to another school… More IF’S and more emotional  blackmail yeah that’s  emotional  blackmail. How many times have you threatened  your child based on their performance  at school? How many times have you compared  them with others? The worst kind. 

 Too much pressure;so little of encouragement leaves your child not only  emotionally  drained but also stripes  them naked of their confidence. They are left feeling second best and even humiliated. More so if you tell them off infront of others. A situation  that could  lead to depression and at worst,  self harm. God have mercy. 

I am not encouraging lazy bums ..No way. I am not saying pushing your child into improving  themselves  is bad. What I am saying is that there are waaay better ways to go about it…to expressing rightfully.To knowing  your limits as a parent. Though for some children, they have to learn the hard way.

What exactly  is the problem?

First get to know where the problem  really  lies.Is it the school they do not like?, is it the teacher  they have an issue with or is it simply  laziness? Be objective  in your judgment.Trust me, no none knows  your child better than you. You know when they are lying through their tears and when they are covering  up through  their smiles. You raised then and you will definitely  know. Make use of your instincts. 

Don’t  expect  too much

 More than anyone else, you know your child’s standard. You know what they can achieve  when they try their best.If your child has always been a grade C student, don’t  expect  them to move to grade A in a span  on four  months just because you hired them a tutor. A slight  improvement should  be good enough. If they manage to score a B, throw a party! They have excelled within their cycle.    Don’t  beat yourself  up if your niece with whom they attended the same class scored an A.It’s  not a competition  on who is smarter  than who. 

                        Tenor GIF

Help them discover  their  talents

Everyone  is unique  in their  own way. Help your child  discover their uniqueness and come up with a balancing  sheet of their activities. Get them professional  help and let them exploit  their capabilities. There are so many graduates in the world earning  from their talents. Don’t  close  that option  for them. You never know  where  that door could  lead to. 

As we approach  National  Examinations and end term,let’s  encourage  our children  to bring out the best in them. We should never let them be subject to ridicule.Do not compare them. I wouldn’t  like it if my child compared my way of parenting  to anyone else’s  myself.

Your child’s  success in life doesn’t  ENTIRELY depend on grades!!!

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Kaycee says:

    You just spoke to me. Am really Good at comparing myself with others, thought it was the best way to spun myself to excellence

    Liked by 1 person

    1. dmakori says:

      There is healthy comparison and unhealthy one. Like when you aspire to be successful.But when you find yourself stressed up just because you are yet to achieve as much as your friends, then it’s definitely a red flag. We are all unique and our way of reasoning and doing things is also unique. You might not be as fast as everyone you know, but with persistence and determination you eventually will..


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